Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
