just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
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