Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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