uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
