sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
