she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
