"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
