Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
