respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
