I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
