When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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