You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
soo... how was my night?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
