Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
