the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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