All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
