the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
