Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
