She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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