Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
