just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
