hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
