He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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