Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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