remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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