the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize