You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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