While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
