Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
