I hate all girls vehemently.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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