i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize