So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
