He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
