i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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