i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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