Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
her vagine was all disorganized.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
