Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize