do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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