please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
