So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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