Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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