i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
