So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
