This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
