I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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