ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
foreskin is a definite game changer
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
