yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
