dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Boobs are out for the taking
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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