Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
