why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
