I wanna passion pit in your ass
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
