yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
