Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
wow bdsm is so cute
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
