Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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