This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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