So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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