She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
