well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
