I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I think people are normalizing furries
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
