The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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