in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
