I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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