They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize