just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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