no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You dont lie about slip and slides
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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