i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
