I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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