haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
